A fight for women, a fight for humanity

Time to Evolve:

At the Womens march last weekend in Liverpool, I heard and felt the anger and fear as the world crisis of violence against women dramatically increases.
It wouldn't be completely accurate to say something along the lines of "I have the deepest respect for women" because that implies that I am different from women in some way, like I am making an observation about a different species. This in contrast to many of my other male counterparts who do believe that men and women are opposites.
It would be more accurate to say that I have the deepest respect and love for feminists. Women, men, LGBTQIA+ and non binary people who advocate for empowerment, solidarity, and the collective effort to create a more just and inclusive world for everyone.

As a man raised by a strong single mother, with a stepfather who came later in life and was only present on weekends due to work, my upbringing was largely free of the direct influence of patriarchal figures. My mother was my first example of love, support, and compassion. Qualities society often attributes to women alone but should belong to all humans.

Growing up, I watched as other boys my age, many with absent fathers or a positive male guiding presence, gravitated toward communities of men.
These communities often shaped their identities, offering connection, purpose, and direction.
Some joined gaming groups, others turned to sports or fitness. Some became fixtures in pubs or parties, and others sought solace in work, drugs, or darker paths.

We moved quite a lot when I was younger and so I never really rooted in one place for too long, and as a result, I cycled through these different groups as well, searching for a sense of belonging.
Through these experiences, I saw the duality of male community.
At its best, I witnessed profound love, support, and camaraderie.
At its worst, I saw fear: fear of rejection, fear of weakness, fear of being seen as unworthy.

The men most at risk, I’ve observed, are those who seek acceptance so desperately that they abandon their individuality, adopting the customs and beliefs of others they perceive as stronger or more confident.
They idolise those who represent freedom from ordinary or painful lives.
Leaders who often perpetuate the very toxic patterns these men long to escape.

The Downfall of Masculine Communities:

This phenomenon isn’t new, but it’s amplified in today’s digital age. Social media and online influencers have created a "Lord of the Flies" scenario for young men.
An unmoderated wilderness where fear and desperation for belonging lead to dangerous allegiances. Figures like Andrew Tate, Trump, Colin McGregor and far-right, abusive and humanity eroding influencers thrive in these spaces, selling a twisted version of masculinity wrapped in misogyny and power.

These young men, isolated and disconnected, fall into the clutches of ideologies that promise strength and brotherhood but deliver only emptiness and harm.
They are led to believe that empathy is weakness, that vulnerability is shameful, and that their worth depends on dominance over others.
And while women and feminists fight for each other, building communities of care, love, and solidarity, these men are convinced that they must compete and fight each other and everyone around them.
Too often, their champions are self-serving influencers and capitalistic opportunists who profit from their pain.

Acknowledging Our Role And A Path Forward:

I’ll admit, I’ve turned my back on these men. When faced with their anger, insularity, or toxic behaviours, my instinct was to retreat, to protect myself and my like-minded community.
Sometimes they left on their own, rejected by others in our group, but the result was the same: they were left to fend for themselves.

Trump managing to gain a second term is less to do with the success of the Trump campaign and more to do with the failings of the Harris campaign.
A greek tragedy of sorts where the left, who are too resentful to address an issue they don't believe they have any responsibility for, and a right who is all too willing to take advantage of that.

These men have been rounded up, separated and convinced that they have no other place in the world.

Televised and printed media has long been controlled, social media moreso in recent years.
Now with the political power and control over all aspects of major online communal spaces, Trump is rebranding the dangerous and regressive reactionary conservativism mixed with american nationalism as a liberation of the oppressed right.

In therapy, you are taught to recognise negative thought patterns and to challenge them.
In the modern online world, these negative thought patterns are accessible, potent and intravenously fed into the collective consiousness, and the idea of reflection and critical thought is rejected in favour of blame and fear.

When we give up on these men, we don’t just lose them, we risk creating the very monsters we fear. Men consumed by their need for acceptance can lose their humanity, adopting harmful behaviours to fill the void.
We may not be directly creating the problem, but by abandoning them, we contribute to it.

When we give up on these men, we don’t just lose them; we risk creating the very monsters we fear. Men consumed by their need for acceptance can lose their humanity, adopting harmful behaviours to fill the void. We may not be directly creating the problem, but by abandoning them, we contribute to it.

The Role of Women in Perpetuating Patriarchy

While it's clear that men can be dangerous and increasingly violent, there’s also a troubling trend among women who, often unknowingly, perpetuate patriarchal systems that harm both others and themselves. Some women, blinded by their own experiences or by the structures they’ve internalised, advocate for policies or mindsets that restrict women's rights and uphold systems of control. Their support for regressive policies and traditional gender roles only reinforces the structures that limit not just the freedom of women, but men’s too.

Both men and women have been manipulated into perpetuating systems that harm us all. As much as we need to address the toxic masculinity that leads some men down dangerous paths, we also need to examine how some women are complicit in maintaining the very patriarchy that keeps us divided and stunted.

In my mid-30s, I can reflect on my lack of male role models as a strange blessing. While I’ve been influenced by boys and men in my life, I’ve avoided deep entrenchment in the patriarchal systems that often define masculinity.

I believe the solution isn’t to ostracise these men but to offer them a different path. Imagine a world where male role models embody kindness, vulnerability, and empathy instead of aggression, stoicism, and control.

If men who display their capacity to nurture, support, and connect are given the same reach, platform and powerful positions as their current toxic counterparts?
This requires bravery. Men who challenge toxic masculinity often face ridicule and rage from those clinging to outdated ideals.
But courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s the willingness to move forward despite it.

Evolving Beyond Tribalism:

At the root of this issue lies tribalism, humanity’s ancient habit of dividing into "us" versus "them." Whether it’s gender, race, religion, or class, our tendency to focus on differences has held us back for centuries.

It’s time to evolve.

Women are bearing the overwhelming weight of fighting for humanity’s progress; on the front lines of social change, environmental activism, and community building.
They’re showing us the way, but we all must join them.

We need to dismantle the toxic, violent, and self-harming roots of patriarchy and replace them with systems that uplift everyone.
The battle we face isn’t between men and women; it’s between progress and stagnation.

We cannot simply discard the parts of ourselves and our communities that we dislike and expect them to vanish without consequence.
Ignored, these issues fester like an untreated cancer, spreading harm to everyone around us.
True progress requires facing these challenges head-on, treating the root causes with empathy, accountability, and the courage to heal.